Every man wants a son....WTF?

Is it a bird? Is it a plane? Actually, this little jellybaby is our newest addition - say hello to Tootie Le Fourth!

We had our first scan a few weeks ago, and this is our tootie at just 8 weeks gestation.

We have another scan next week, and can't wait to see how much our little jellybean has grown and developed since the last scan.

Already, we're getting the Big Question - are you going to find out if it's a boy or girl?

The answer is no, we like surprises. Of course, we'll be analysing every scan to bits, but we're more than happy to wait until the moment this little bundle is pulled from the sunroof to find out whether it's Arthur or Martha.

Kidding - those aren't our chosen names. It'll be George or Mildred.

Also kidding.

Anyway, I must share something that's been irking me lately. That is, the number of people (and there's been quite a lot), who have said to Steve "I hope for your sake that this one's a boy."

Um, why? Well, the resounding answer I seem to get when I ask this question is "Because every man wants a son."

O-kaaaaaay.

Now, this is insulting on many levels. First of all, we already have a boy. Remember Charlie? 11 years old, extremely handsome, smart, funny, great kid? Well, he's also a boy!

But, and this is the big BUT, he's not Steve's biological son, which means he doesn't count. 

Thing is....he counts to us, and that's what matters.

It's also insulting because does that mean people think Steve was secretly disappointed to have Amelie, a mere girl? Of course not, nothing could be further from the truth, he adores his girl, and his other girl, and his boy, and this unborn child, whatever gender s/he may be.

I get it from a purely gender-related point of view. The boys in our house are pretty outnumbered. Apart from Steve and Charlie, there's my mum, me, Daisy, Amelie, Marge (the cat), Molly (the dog),Mindy and Jessie (mum's two chiahuauas) and our three (female) guinea pigs.

So yes, in that respect, a boy would in some tiny part help to even out the numbers somewhat, but really, is there any other real reason to have a preference?

The thing is, just because you have a baby of a certain gender, it doesn't automatically mean that they will become the person you had in mind. Not all girls are into princesses and tea parties, and not all boys are into football and cars.

Charlie HATES football. I tried to get him playing football when he was 4, not because I thought he "should", but because his nursery class were starting a new team and I thought I'd get him involved. He hated it from the start, and despite several attempts to engage him, he knew his mind and wouldn't have it.

The final straw came when he absolutely refused one day to take part and was in floods of tears at the sidelines. I realised how unhappy he was and went to give him a hug, at which point the coach walked past and sneered at my FOUR YEAR OLD CHILD "You know what you are? A mummy's boy. And if you don't get on that field and play, you'll always be a mummy's boy"

At which point I picked up my mummy's boy and politely informed the coach that I'd rather my boy was the only gay in the village than a neanderthal like him, and vowed to never make him do anything ever again, just because his gender dictated that he "should".

Incidentally, at 11, he's no more of a mummy's boy than the next kid. He likes computers, and learning, and science. His favourite colour is purple and his favourite band is Queen. Should I be worried? Um, no.

Daisy is into cheerleading, but hates Disney Princesses. She has never worn anything pink, or sparkly, or glittery. In fact, even as a baby, if I'd tried to dress her up like a dolly (which I wouldn't), she'd have ripped it off because it would have hindered her from climbing up the curtains or swinging from door handles.

If you ask her what her party trick is, it won't be singing a song from Frozen, or showing you her shoe collection. It'l be doing the splits upside down, and just as you're about to applaud, she'll fart really loudly and proceed to burp the alphabet, just because she can.

Yep, that's our little princess.

Amelie hasn't quite reached the point of showing preferences for much yet, but I look forward to watching her little personality develop, just as I look forward to watching Tootie Le Fourth's personality develop.

We aren't limiting our kids to certain things based on their gender. We don't walk into a toy shop or clothes shop and automatically rule out half the contents as being "unsuitable", we let our kids decide who they want to be, because at the end of the day, that's exactly what they'll do anyway.

Our kids have the world at their feet - whether they want to be doctors, artists, teachers, astronauts, drag queens or bin collectors - all we want is for them to be happy in their own skin and content to be themselves, safe in  the knowledge that no matter what, we will always love and support them.

So please, don't hope for Steve's sake or anyone else's that this baby is a certain gender, as long as our kids are happy, healthy and are brought up to be decent human beings, their gender is absolutely irrelevant.