We went for an unexpected day out yesterday. It started as a trip to Home Bargains, so Daisy could spend the £3 that was burning a hole in her piggy bank (she struggles to save money, ever).
Because the shop is by the beach, Charlie suggested that, since it was a nice day, he could use some of his money to buy a frisbee and we could go down to the beach for a game or two. Nice idea, we said, and the frisbee was bought.
Unfortunately, being in Aberdeen, by the time we left the shop, it was piddling with rain, so we decided on a whim to take the kids to the carnivals. We're really lucky where we live, there's a lot of flashy, expensive entertainment, and we almost never take the kids there. Why? Because it can suck £100 out of your wallet before you can say "Oooh! Dodgems!"
This time, however, we decided to treat the kids and let them have a little fun. Charlie and Steve made a beeline for the roller coasters, and I took the girls to Smuggler's Cove, a big, lovely soft play area.
Sitting watching Amelie joyfully swirling the coloured balls around in the ball pool, while Daisy pointed out each different colour to her, I felt happy and content. Until...
SMASH! A plastic ball comes flying through the air and hits Amelie on the shoulder. I look around, but can't be sure whether it was thrown deliberately, or just an accident.
SMASH! Another ball smacks her directly in the face. My mama bear instints kick in and I swing round to see who I need to open a can of whoopass on. There's a very cute little boy in denim dungarees with curly hair, and he's smiling as he throws ball after ball at Amelie, while Daisy is virtually lying on top of her in the manner of a soldier taking a grenade for his comrades.
I go over to him. "Honey? Please don't throw balls at the baby. I know you're just trying to play, but she's only little"
He ignores me and continues to lob more balls at Amelie.
"Um, excuse me? Don't do that, please. You might hurt someone"
He looks at me. "So? It's fun."
Grrr. I'm losing my patience. "No, it's not fun, it's mean. Stop it please"
He smiles at me. "No"
I look around, desperately trying to find this little hoodlum's parents. Of course, they're nowhere to be seen. They could be any of the dozens of parents I can see hunched over tables, reading newspapers, staring at their phones, or chatting to friends. Seriously, I'm all for letting kids play and not being on their case every two minutes, but godammit, keep an eye on them! It's always the bullies and downright rude kids that seem to get the free run of places like this, and it drives me nuts.
I have a thing about manners. I don't claim to be a perfect parent, and I certainly don't have perfect kids, but one thing they might thank me for when they're older is that I've always drummed manners into them.
It's as simple as this - if you want something, you say please. If you get something, you say thank you. If someone asks you to do something (within reason), you do it, and if someone asks you to stop doing something, you SODDING WELL STOP DOING IT.
Nothing winds me up more than bad manners. Kids, I can almost forgive, but adults just give me the rage. How many times do you see adults in shops not saying please or thank you? Not holding doors open?
People in restaurants ignoring their families while staring at phones. Waaaaah.
The way I see it, hopefully if you bring kids up to have manners and have consideration for others, they'll grow into adults who have manners and consideration for others. I'd like to think that we as a society aren't becoming so busy and absorbed in our digital lives, that we're losing sight of what's right in front of us.
I'm not a judgemental person, I hate to make judgements based on glimpses of strangers' lives, but if I could say one thing to the general public (including myself), it would be "Put your phone down, and look at your kids. Say please and thank you, and encourage them to do the same"
Let's reclaim the lost art of manners before they disappear completely.
I'll put my judgey pants away now, thank you very much...
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