Wednesday 23 April 2014

Online bullying


Last night, a good friend of mine had a horrible experience - someone posted something very personal from her past on social media, something she really didn't want anyone to see.

Her response was incredible...far from running away, she went on Facebook and publicly told her friends and family what was happening to her. She has received a massive outpouring of support, and now, rather than feeling humiliated and degraded, she has come out of the experience with even more respect from her true friends, and is empowered.
In short, she's beaten the bullies at their own game.

A couple of years ago, I experienced vicious online bullying, again from a "friend". She had taken a generic post on my Facebook the wrong way, assuming it was about her (it wasn't), and rather than ask me about it, she instead got her husband to launch a frankly disgusting hate campaign against me.
He posted that I was a c**t, a whore, and many other horrible names. He said he hoped my husband would see sense and leave me, and worst of all, said some really nasty things involving my unborn baby's health.
Other people, many who didn't even know me, joined in, calling me names, making threats and wishing all manner of nastiness on me.

What did I do? I ran.
I deleted and blocked them on Facebook, made sure none of the nasty posts could be seen on my page, and otherwise just let them get away with it.
To be fair, at the time, they were having an extremely hard time and just wanted to lash out at someone, and deliberately misunderstanding my post had given them the ideal opportunity.
I didn't want to make things any harder for them, but looking back, I wish I hadn't just let them get off with treating me in such an unforgivable way.
I wish I had had the courage to publicly say "This is happening to me...don't let it happen to you"
Instead, most people I know aren't even aware that this happened to me.

We can't let bullies win. No matter what the circumstances, if someone is making you feel in any way uncomfortable, humiliated or upset online, please please do something about it.

Tell your friends, tell your kids, and tell yourself. You are worth more, you deserve to only be surrounded by people who make you happy.

To anyone affected by bullying, online or otherwise, take action now. I promise the support will overwhelm you.

And to my friend, I salute you. Thank you for inspiring me xxx

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