Wednesday 28 May 2014

When are you ready for a baby?



After today's post, one of my friends said in a reply that she isn't anywhere near ready to have a baby yet, which got me thinking - how do you know when you're ready?

If you have kids, did you make that decision and decide that you were ready? In fact, are any of us ever ready?
The way I see it, if you're waiting for the right time, the right stage in your relationship, the right financial situation, the right point in your career, you'll never truly be ready. Yay for "happy accidents"!
Having said that, here's a few ways to find out if you're "ready"....

1) Do you enjoy waking up at 20 minute intervals through the night?

2) Do you like getting poop on your hands?

3) Do you enjoy being watched while you're on the toilet?

4) Do you feel that your day isn't complete until you've done 20,000 loads of laundry?

5) Do you find it amusing to clean a room, only to find it wrecked again 10 minutes later?

6) Do you like eating your dinner cold, while standing up?

7) Do you enjoy finding 57 cold, half finished cups of tea around the house?

8) Would it be funny to be constantly trying to save the life of a tiny nutjob with no sense of danger?

9) Are you happy enough to only have sex on special occasions?

10) Is it fun to share your bed with a midget contortionist who can only sleep with their butt in your face and their feet on your partner's face?

11) Do you like being headbutted in your sleep?

12) Would your kitchen benefit from having food thrown all over it?

13) Do you fancy spending the entirety of your beach holiday frantically trying to find a small person who is running towards the sea, and then spend an hour trying to get them to stop eating
sand?

14) Do you like crying your way through the news, because you no longer have any control over your emotions?

15) Do you fancy taking off your bra and having your boobs unroll their way toward the floor?

16) In fact, speaking of boobs, do you like having them bitten - not in a kinky, 50 Shades kind of way, but in an angry, rabid dog kind of way?

17) Also, do you like the idea of getting your saggy, bruised, bitten boobs out in public, or worse, in front of your father in law?

18) Do you feel sexy in leggings and milk stained t-shirts?

19) Do you find it rewarding to be judged by every single person who crosses your path, and to be berated for "not taking advice" every time something goes wrong?

20) Do you love feeling permanently guilty?

21) Do you have any idea what it feels like to step on a lego in the middle of the night and stay perfectly silent because you don't dare wake anybody?

22) Do you find it adorable to attempt to dress somebody who will not stay still for one effing second? Think trying to stuff an octopus in a Pringles tube, or put a harness on a bumblebee.

23) Are you FREAKING MENTAL?

If the answer to any of these is YES, then congratulations, you're ready for parenthood!
If the answer to one or more is NO, then congratulations, you're still ready! Because guess what, you'll never be ready, which in a way, kind of means you'll always be ready.

We'll stumble our way around this journey, making countless mistakes, wasting loads of time and money, and missing more sleep than we'll ever be able to catch up on.
But you know what? Ready or not, you'll never, ever, ever regret it.

No comments:

Post a Comment