I read an article on The Stir not long ago (which has since been taken down, so I can't link to it, sorry!), which was about Mackenzie Douthit (Teen Mom), and a tweet about breastfeeding...
Now, according to the authour of the article, this tweet was "Totally obnoxious", and Mackenzie was accused of rubbing her success in everyone's faces. Seriously, doesn't she KNOW that some people out there struggle to breastfeed? How DARE she be so pleased with herself.
Well, thank you, Captain Obvious. Breastfeeding is HARD, this is exactly why you have every right to be proud of yourself for keeping going. If the tweet had said something like "Ner ner ner, I can breastfeed and you can't, haha!", that would be obnoxious. All she was doing was giving herself a little high five, and fair play to her. She wasn't trying to make anyone feel bad if they haven't managed the same, and why should worrying about other people's struggles be her responsibility anyway?
Why, oh why do we women keep trying to tear each other down over every little thing?
When you've achieved something great, or something wonderful has happened, why shouldn't you be able to celebrate it? Why should you have to stop and feel guilty because there might be someone out there who doesn't share your success and might find it hard to take?
Here's the thing - your life = your responsibility.
Other people's lives = not your responsibility.
We shouldn't be made to feel bad every time we have something to celebrate, because guess what? There will always be someone out there having a harder time, and as long as you're not clearly just deliberately trying to personally wind them up, being happy is your right.
I remember being massively berated during a discussion online about dating - some of us had boyfriends, some of us were dating, some of us were struggling to find someone, anyone.
The girls there had been part of the forum for years, and we'd all seen each other through ups and downs. Despite the fact that they'd seen everything I'd gone through - divorce, singledom, meeting wrong people, meeting the right person and eventually getting engaged, a few of them struggled to accept my new happiness. In fact, I was asked to leave the conversation because my talk of wedding plans was apparently rubbing it in the face of girls who were struggling to find anyone at all. I was accused of being insensitive to the fact that some people still hadn't found what I had.
In other words "Your happiness is reminding me that I don't have the same joy right now, so go away and be quiet"
Well, sod off. We've all had our crosses to bear, we've all had our lessons to learn and that's just life. Sometimes you're up, sometimes you're down.
"Being sensitive" to other people's misfortune doesn't mean that you should deny your own happiness or feel guilty for it, it just means don't harp on about it all the time, or be happy, but listen to other people as well.
It's a huge misconception that people who celebrate their successes are "full of themselves" or bragging - for the most part, I think people are generally just expressing gratitude for the good things they have going on, because they might have struggled to get there or be aware that they won't be there forever.
It could go on forever - don't be happy about breastfeeding, because some people struggle to breastfeed. In fact, don't whine about struggling to breastfeed, because some people can't even have kids. Oh, and how dare you be walking around on two legs, don't you know some people are in wheelchairs? And don't even consider posting recipes for delicious food online when there are people starving in the world....
You see what I mean? There will always be someone willing to suck the joy out of every situation, but you can't go through life being terrified to open your mouth in case you offend someone, because trust me, if someone wants to be offended, they will find you, and any excuse to tear you down.
There's NO such thing as a charmed life. Just because someone has something that you don't, or has achieved something that you haven't, it doesn't mean that they're luckier than you, it just means that this is the direction their life has taken. Maybe you have something that they'd secretly love to have. At the end of the day, we all have our ups and downs in life, and jealousy is ugly.
If you have a great house, good for you! If you have a flat stomach, that's great! If you have tons of money, enjoy it! If you have a hot husband, that's wonderful! If you have gorgeous, well behaved children who are always immaculate and perfect, you're a goddamn liar brilliant! If you have breastfed for as long as you wanted to, then that's amazing!
If you have all of the above, I hate you, bitch.
Just kidding, I love you really.
Whopp whoop! You go girl!
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